Monday, September 12, 2011

Early clues to my lesbianism

Just recently I read this post on Butch Wonders about signs from childhood/adolescence that the author was a lesbian. I could relate to many of them so I thought I would make my own list (blatantly copying some points...and in no particular order).
  1. I absolutely loved it when I got the part of a male newscaster in a school play and had to wear a suit jacket.
  2. I panicked at the thought of changing in front of other girls in the locker room. I distinctly remember grand efforts to avert my eyes for fear they'd think I was 'looking' at them.
  3. No concept of flirting. No understanding the dynamics between guys and gals in high school.
  4. Absolute befuddlement at my friends crushes.
  5. From the above-mentioned blog: "Avoiding premarital sex never struck me as all that difficult."
  6. I always wished I could shop in the men's departments - cargo pants, polo shirts, and sweater vests, oh my!
  7. I craved physical contact from my friends (who were girls) and thought there was something seriously wrong with me. I tried to blame it on a lack of hugs from my mom or some such childhood issue. Simultaneously, I studiously avoided any such contact.
  8. I felt like a fraud whenever wearing a skirt and a klutz when it came to applying makeup. I absolutely detested pantihose. 
  9. I developed instant 'crushes' (then described as a desire to be mentored) on several older women in my life.
  10. When watching romance films, I always focused on the woman during the kissing scenes. When fantasizing, I always pictured myself in the male role (which I've since realized doesn't mean I wanted to be a man, but that I wanted to be with a woman).

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