Proud by association - SYTYCD Gay Particicipant

So, I watched "So You Think You Can Dance" for the first time this year and got totally hooked. It's really the first reality contest type show that I've gotten into and really rooted for participants along the way (I enjoyed The Voice this summer as well, but it wasn't long enough to delve into personalities as much). I've watched a few episodes of American Idol but have always been turned off by how much of the show seems to depend on having fun at the expense of others - the judging can be quite cruel. However, I found that with SYTYCD, the judges were really rooting for the dancers and it felt like a much more positive experience. And I just love choreographed dance.

Anyways, all that to say, I found myself wondering about the strong heterosexual bias of the dances. There were lots of romantic pieces but they were always with male/female pairs. There was the occasional gay judge, but the material being danced seemed to emphasize mainstream themes. I found myself a bit disappointed, especially because I had a stereotype that the arts were one area in which gays flourished. Near the end, there were a few dances in which same-gender participants were paired, but the themes were neutral. I'd love to see a show like this push the envelope a bit.

And then, much to my surprise, I read an After Ellen interview with Sasha Mallory, this year's runner up and found out that she's a lesbian. My fledgling gaydar clearly failed me. In the interview, Sasha states:

It’s not important for America to know that personal side of me. They just needed to know if I could dance and if I had a personality. They didn’t really need to know if I was gay or straight. Who I’m sleeping with is not important. This is my craft, my art, it’s what I do and who I sleep with doesn’t really change that, I don’t think. I’m not afraid to tell people I’m gay. I’m proud all over the place. Ask anyone! [laughs] It’s just something that never needed to come up because it would just take the focus off of my dancing and it will put it into "I'm gay," ya know?

I know there's been a bit of a fuss made in the blogosphere about gay participants in these various shows being asked to keep quiet about their identity. I have no idea whether that's true or whether its just a personal choice on their parts.

In one sense, I totally agree with Sasha's statements here. The ultimate goal is for a person's sexuality to be no big deal. She's absolutely right that in that context, she should be judged on her dancing alone. But in another sense, because visibility and equality are still being fought for, there's a sense of victory every time another successful person comes out as gay. Each additional outing makes it so much easier for people to accept themselves and others.

I think in some ways Sasha achieved a good balance here. She didn't make it about her 'gayness' while competing in the show, but she is out and open now that the show is over. She's expressing this part of who she is while her 'fame' has not yet abated but after such an expression may have influenced her success. Would I have rooted for her more if I had known that she was gay prior to the results being announced? Maybe. But I seriously loved Melanie so maybe not.

I do have to admit though, that I have that kind of proud-by-association feeling when I think of her now, after the fact. And I think that's valuable to the community at large, to all the kids out there that need heroes to look up to and all the adults who need to know we are just regular human beings in all walks of life. So thanks, Sasha!