Talking to children about LGBTQ issues

Was reading a book today (also a video), called "It's Elementary: Talking About Gay Issues in School" which explores how to address LGBTQ issues in classrooms, specifically how to talk about discrimination and bias against LGBTQ persons, making kids aware of phrases and actions that aren't welcoming to others (there's actually a lesson idea for teaching the definitions of welcome and unwelcome).

Anyways, what struck me was how they answered some of the common objections to covering such material with elementary school children. First, with regards to the concern that elementary school kids are too young, the book points out that name calling and anti-gay slurs start as early as kindergarten and thus, teachers aren't actually introducing anything new but helping children understand something that they are already experiencing. Second, the book argues that talking about LGBTQ issues is NOT sex education. Its talking about people and families, current events and civil rights and does not require talking about what happens in anyone's bedroom or the mechanics of reproduction.

Touché I say...good points!

Why are people so afraid of talking to kids about stuff like this?

Even when it comes to sex education, I think we are way too inhibited. When you think about it, sexuality is mostly about relationships anyways. The actual act of sex is just the culmination or at least it should be (okay, so there is a place for sex as a recreational activity too but in the context of a relationship, sex is very much about communication and trust and all sorts of other 'people' stuff beyond physiology). I got quite a kick out of this article that reported on the way a particular high school teacher taught about the communication and anticipation that comes prior to sex:

“So let’s think about pizza,” Vernacchio said to his students after they’d deconstructed baseball. The class for that day was just about over. “Why do you have pizza?”

“You’re hungry,” a cross-country runner said.

“Because you want to,” Vernacchio affirmed. “It starts with desire, an internal sense — not an external ‘I got a game today, I have to do it.’ And wouldn’t it be great if our sexual activity started with a real sense of wanting, whether your desire is for intimacy, pleasure or orgasms… And you can be hungry for pizza and still decide, No thanks, I’m dieting. It’s not the healthiest thing for me now.

“If you’re gonna have pizza with someone else, what do you have to do?” he continued. “You gotta talk about what you want. Even if you’re going to have the same pizza you always have, you say, ‘We getting the usual?’ Just a check in. And square, round, thick, thin, stuffed crust, pepperoni, stromboli, pineapple — none of those are wrong; variety in the pizza model doesn’t come with judgment,” Vernacchio hurried on. “So ideally when the pizza arrives, it smells good, looks good, it’s mouthwatering. Wouldn’t it be great if we had that kind of anticipation before sexual activity, if it stimulated all our senses, not just our genitals but this whole-body experience.” By this time, he was really moving fast; he’d had to cram his pizza metaphor into the last five minutes. “And what’s the goal of eating pizza? To be full, to be satisfied. That might be different for different people; it might be different for you on different occasions. Nobody’s like ‘You failed, you didn’t eat the whole pizza.’

What's wrong with teachers talking about stuff like this. Seriously!? Its not like they are giving demonstrations on specific sex positions or various fetishes (although one could argue there's a need for such detailed education as well). They are just trying to help students navigate the confusing world of romantic relationships which, given who we are as a species, involves sex. I say we give them a bit more latitude.