Lesbian 'Meet the Parents' Drama

So I wrote awhile back about coming out to my parents and how positively it went. Well, just a few days ago, I introduced my girlfriend to them for the first time. Woo hoo!

There was a lot of stress leading up to the meet. They weren't comfortable inviting us to their home yet, a restaurant was too formal, a coffee shop too intimate, dinner at my brother's too overwhelming. Everyone had a different opinion. But we finally worked it out, and met in a food court. For those who are considering a 'meet the parents' get together in the future, I highly recommend this as an ideal solution ('twas my mom's brilliant idea). It doesn't have the formality or the time investment required by meeting in a restaurant, its neutral territory, it has lots of food choices to satisfy every palate, and there are enough distractions around that the focus on each other doesn't feel too intense.

Again, it went really well. My parents really liked her as I knew they would. Conversation flowed. We had come prepared with some interesting things to talk about that I knew would catch their interest. And it culminated in an invite for her to join my family for our Christmas celebrations. You can't get much better than that.

I think my mom is starting to come around. Our conversations about things are getting easier. We'd had one a few days before the meet where she was again trying to figure out what made my relationship with my girlfriend different from just a friendship. Anybody out there got a good explanation for why we have chemistry with some people and not others??? She was also asking me what made my girlfriend and I compatible. I tried explaining, but then there were things that came up during our get together that made it quite obvious and my mom and I laughed about it afterwards.

My dad is still quite formal. He hasn't really talked to me about this stuff at all since I came out although he's followed along via my mom's reports of our conversations. I did directly ask him afterwards what he thought of my girlfriend. He was very positive about her as a person but rather formal about how he referred to her belying remaining awkwardness about her status.

But all in all, it was a positive experience and I think my parents are doing great for the amount of time they've had to adjust.

I wish I had some brilliant advice to pass along for those of you who might be facing a similar situation, but things have gone so well that I'm not sure I really do. A couple of points that might be valuable:

1. My parents have valued the fact that I've communicated with them even though they are uncomfortable. They appreciate the fact that I haven't backed off just because their body language and odd questions sometimes betray their still adjusting opinion. Since their main priority is making sure I know I am still loved despite my choices (yeah, the 'despite' still rankles a bit), they are happy when my words and actions assure them that I am indeed hearing that message despite their struggles.
2. The choice of a neutral place to meet that made things as comfortable as possible for all parties was important. I think keeping it short was also a good idea. My parents were left wanting to know more which naturally led to feeling positive about getting together again.
3. I made sure my girlfriend knew that she was my priority in all of this. If there were requirements for the meet that conflicted, her requests took precedence. I love my parents and will do all I can to respect them, but I am moving forward with building a relationship with this person and keeping that solid is most important. 
4. We planned a fun evening after the meet to de-stress and laugh. Don't just go home and stew. Do something that reminds you why the person you are with makes you happy.